I can’t stop staring at this photo of Trump walking Macron like a little puppy.
The “leader” of the “free” world grabbed hold of the French president’s hand and led him through the colonnades like he was a tiny little brother whom he was tasked with keeping out of traffic and I have so many questions. Thank you for calling on me; my questions include: Why? For what reason? Who will pay for my eye bleaching? And what time is the next flight to Mars?
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This photo feels like the perspective is off and yet it is reality, so there’s a metaphor to ruminate on or whatever. Why is Trump so big and Macron so small? Why am I in this universe at all? Why does the sun go around the moon? Why does the snow come down in June?
I’m looking at this photo when I feel like I’m staring at a still from a mind-bending Donnie Darko knockoff. I am physically at work but mentally I feel like I am possibly tripping, so someone alert HR, please.
Want to never sleep again? Here’s Macron inexplicably grasping Trump’s index finger with his whole hand.
LUDOVIC MARIN/AFP/Getty Images
Hello HR? Me again. I have to call out of work today because I am seismically uncomfortable.
Seriously, what scenario precipitated this finger-grab. Is this diplomacy? Why didn’t anyone tell me that Model U.N. involved so much awkward hand-holding? I would have paid a lot more attention.
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Here is another photo of the two of them together:
Skin to skin. Our mana. Blessed and proud to bring another strong girl into this world. Tiana Gia Johnson came into this world like a force of nature and Mama @laurenhashianofficial labored and delivered like a true rockstar. I was raised and surrounded by strong, loving women all my life, but after participating in baby Tia’s delivery, it’s hard to express the new level of love, respect and admiration I have for @laurenhashianofficial and all mamas and women out there. Word to the wise gentlemen, it’s critical to be by your lady’s head when she’s delivering, being as supportive as you can.. holding hands, holding legs, whatever you can do. But, if you really want to understand the single most powerful and primal moment life will ever offer – watch your child being born. Its a life changer and the respect and admiration you have for a woman, will forever be boundless. And to my third and youngest daughter, Tiana Gia – like I did when your two older sisters Simone Alexandra and Jasmine Lia were born, you have my word, I’ll love, protect, guide and make ya laugh for the rest of my life. Your crazy dad has many responsibilities and wears many hats in this big ol’ world, but being your dad will always be the one I’m most proud to wear. Oh and one more thing.. you’re gonna love rollin’ in daddy’s pick up truck. #TianaGiaJohnson? #3rdDaughter #BlessesAndGratefulMan #ImInTROUBLE A post shared by therock (@therock) on Apr 23, 2018 at 10:52am PDT
I’m just kidding. Apologies to literally everyone involved. For everything.
Later in their meeting Trump helpfully brushed lint or dandruff off of Emmanuel Macron’s suit with a delicate touch of his just-grasped index finger.
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What a wonderful display of the ways that human beings actually touch each other. How sweet, how caring, how peculiar. I love the way that Emmanuel Macron gazes at Trump gratefully. What must it be like to be in Macron’s (possibly flaky) headlights. The look of devotion is almost too pure.
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Merci for taking care of my tete and shoulders.
Look, I’m sorry to do this to you, but if I had to see it, you needed to as well. Quite a different body language story from last week’s Macron-Le Bae meeting at the snack buffet, n’est-ce pas? Quelle horror, amiright?
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What an amuse bouche of Bae. Unfortunately, it’s been replaced by a dinner plate of do not want. That old monde is gone. All that remains is strange hand-holding and finger-grasping. Hello HR? Better make it the rest of the week, just to be sure.
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